DEAR ABBY: I am a stepgrandmother of a disabled granddaughter, “Laura,” who has Down syndrome. She is 38. A few years ago, she weighed more than 300 pounds at only 5 feet tall. She ended up in the hospital with blood clots and almost died. The courts gave guardianship to her dad, my son-in-law. Laura’s mother has visitation with Laura only one day a week for four hours.
When they are together, she feeds Laura so much junk food that when Laura comes home, she gets sick. Her dad has spoken to his ex-wife about this issue, but she continues to do it even though she knows the doctors have said Laura has an eating disorder. In the past few years, my daughter has worked hard to help Laura, and now Laura is down to 140 pounds. How can they get her mother on board to help Laura and stop giving her all this stuff that makes her so sick? — LOOKING ON IN OHIO
DEAR LOOKING ON: Laura’s mother appears to have mental problems, which may be why her visitations are limited. Although feeding her daughter junk food may be the way she tries to show love, preventing her from losing the weight she needs to in order to be healthy is dangerous. Your son needs to explain what’s going on to Laura’s doctors and to the judge who decided how long and how often Laura’s mother is allowed to see her. A solution might be that those visits must be SUPERVISED. Please suggest this.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
