The holiday season usually arrives wrapped in shiny paper and high expectations. We envision warm fires, perfect meals, and harmonious family gatherings straight out of a Hallmark movie. But for many, the reality of visiting home involves navigating tricky family dynamics, unsolicited advice, and social batteries that drain faster than a cheap string of lights.
This year, a wave of content creators on TikTok is reshaping how we approach these annual pilgrimages. Instead of merely venting about family stress, therapists, life coaches, and relatable creators are offering actionable toolkits for one crucial survival skill: setting boundaries.
The “TherapyTok” Approach to Family Visits
Why is this happening now? The conversation around mental health has become mainstream, and TikTok has become a primary classroom. Creators are normalizing the idea that you don’t have to endure discomfort just because it’s tradition.
The advice often centers on preparation. Just as you pack your suitcase, you need to pack your emotional defenses as well. The consensus is clear: boundaries aren’t punishments for your family; they are guidelines that allow you to interact with them in a healthy, sustainable way. Failing to set these limits often leads to resentment, and that, in turn, fosters the very conflicts you’re trying to avoid.
Practical Tips for Holding Your Ground
But what does this really look like in practice? Many creators emphasize the benefits of preparing and practicing what you want to say before you arrive. Anxiety can easily strike in the moment, so having a few sentences ready acts as a safety net. For example, when the subject of your appearance comes up, you might calmly state that you’re not discussing your body or diet during the visit and gently steer the conversation elsewhere.
For those all-too-familiar questions about your relationships or marriage plans, it’s perfectly acceptable to let your family know you’d rather focus on enjoying the holiday now, and assure them you’ll share updates when you’re ready. Political differences can also be navigated kindly but firmly by acknowledging the love you share, recognizing that views differ, and suggesting it’s best to focus on the meal together.
Another common TikTok tip is to define and plan your “out” ahead of time. You’re under no obligation to stay in situations that sap your energy. Some people decide in advance that they’ll take a walk, head out for a coffee, or simply retreat to their room for a bit of quiet time. Even communicating from the start how long you’ll attend a gathering can be helpful—saying something like, “I can only stay for two hours, but I’m so happy to see you,” can set expectations and reduce anxiety for everyone involved.
One final note consistently seen in these TikTok discussions is to honor your need for self-care over obligation. It’s unnecessary to attend every tradition if it’s overwhelming. Your well-being takes priority, regardless of the expectations others may have.
Choosing Peace
Ultimately, these TikTok trends point to a positive shift. We are moving away from the idea that holidays require self-sacrifice, and toward a model where enjoyment and mental health coexist.
One TikTok creator, who goes by @blaire_allison, shared a video reminding viewers that it’s ok to hold boundaries and prioritize peace over the holiday. The comments section was filled with users sharing their own experiences of setting healthy new behavior patterns in their families, with many pointing out how important it is to set a new tone for the next generation. “Children see & feel the energy especially as they get older”, said one user.
As we head into the holiday season, these tiktok videos can be a helpful reminder to prioritize your peace. By setting clear limits, you might find that you actually enjoy the holidays more than you have in years. Everyone deserves a festive season that fills our spirits, bringing both joy and peace.
